Them changes

Ok. So.

It’s time I say this. I have a hard HARD time letting go. Of adapting to change. Trying to change.

I get comfortable. Things shouldn’t have to change. But. Life. Shows. Me. Every. Fucking. Time.

Before this journey started, I was a nice 165 lbs. Optimistic. Crowds of friends well….people that I knew.

Late nights. Coffee or drinks and laughter. The only problem was food and school truth be told.

I’ve gained 40 pounds since. Regrown my dreads. Started a career. Moved twice. Geez.

I think…it just happened so fast you know.

Another truth. I’ve always had issues with my looks.

I always saw myself as a little below average. Fat. Unkempt.

This, I tell you…I’ve been so wrong for so long.

I keep forgetting that I’m beautiful. Guess I don’t hear it often.

Well, it’s time to embrace me.

Hello Josh. I’m Josh. I think your awesome. No. You don’t need a lot of people. We grow. We change. It’s life. You get to decide how you want to be. Change your out to match your in. Keep quality people and things. Stop chasing Nikki. You are amazing. You have the most amazing person who loves you. And needs the whole you. You have the bestest friend ever. Never take it for granted. Your still growing. Remain you but adapt. Buy new clothes! Treat yourself better. Stop losing you in the void. Stay. Away. From. The. Void. Read. Learn. Challenge yourself. Cook healthy meals. Indulge sometimes. Make it a treat.

I’ve been waiting to talk to you. I’m the buzz in your ear. The rational motivator. The you that your destined to be. Life fucking sucks man. Things happen to good people. Things happen,has happened, and will happen to you. Be honest with yourself. Listen to those closet to you. Think without fear. Don’t be afraid anymore. Don’t be scared. No need for negative feelings.

You’ve been running so long. Trying to catch the past. But the past is dead. Live for the moment. Stand in the midst. Know that you are meant for so much greater.

When your tired. Rest. Turn it off. It’s only in silence that you can gather yourself. You give a lot. Your heart has always been big. Never lose that but remember to take care of yourself.

We’ve always been here for you. Guiding you when your lost. But here we are again b. It’s ok. Stop being afraid.

Know that you are loved regardless. Know that you are blessed. Know that people love and care for you. Stop comparing yourself and for the love of God stop making crazy expectations!

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