Well let’s begin. I used to think, up until recently I guess, that I needed to be skinny. Like skinny. Fit. Abs. Adonis like.
So that people would like me more.
To be honest, I’m self conscious of my image. Some days I just go on because I legitimately don’t have the time or energy to make myself like attractive. I think it’s a form of just giving up.
I grew up with an athlete who still has managed to maintain his physic. I grew up hearing all the things about how hot he was. How fit. Girls threw themselves at him. My brother is an asshole, but it didn’t matter. Those abs made people weak. People feared him.
Me? Chubby. Lol. All my life. Even when I was in the 140s-160s. Always had a tum tum. And image issues.
It was hard for me. I internalize a lot. And I didn’t have the tools to be able to self-love.
Ok. So now.
I’m loving the bigger me. I weighed in at 200 for the past month. Biggest I’ve been. But I think it’s also the healthiest I’ve been. I work out and lift weights that I thought I’d never move. I eat more healthy and make better choices for food.
And now is the fun part
Suddenly, my clothes dont fit! I was down about it for a while. But, I get to reinvent my look! And that is making me happier. I’m still learning and growing. I’m loving me more and more. And I’m leaving things behind